Whether we realize it or not, we all form expectations around everything. We may not consciously think about it, but our mind has already decided in advance how we think something will go. Then after the event is over, our perception of “how it went” isn’t so much about how it actually went. It’s more about “were our expectations met?” This is totally true with gigs.

A few years ago I was called last-minute for a gig with some people I’d never met. This was going to be a simple three-piece setup with just drums, bass, and electric guitar - plus a singer. I was booked for the gig two days in advance, but I didn’t know the setlist until a few hours before. As I listened through the songs, I discovered that the opening tune was an original by this artist. Great…I’ve got an hour to learn and perfect a song that happens to be an original. Better not mess this up…

The bass player was the one person in the...